What we wear

Yet again I’m frustrated by the way in which young people can be regarded at church. I am reminded again at the prevailing culture that young people are to be “seen and not heard” and that they are only required in order to make the church look good: “See this young person saying something at the front of our church, aren’t we such an all-encompassing family?”

James 2:1-4 says:

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favour some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewellery, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You stand over there, or else sit on the floor” – well, doesn’t this discrimination show that you are guided by evil motives?”

And here’s where my frustration comes: people tend not to be particularly bothered by what teenagers wear. We all know that some teenagers can dress rather provocatively: some do it to rebel against our culture and society; others do it to keep up with their fashion. Either way, shouldn’t we, as Christians, be glad when a teenager walks into church?

Time and again we hear it said: “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” And yet those first impressions can say a lot. The church “welcome team” will pass judgment just by staring at incorrect attire, and the young person will be filled with such warmth and love... that it’s probably an act of God that they don’t walk out straight away!

Enough about extreme examples. What really gets me is when a teenager comes to church, wearing clothes that they’ve worn to church before and which are ‘socially acceptable’ outside of church, but just because they are given something to say from the front, where the whole congregation will be watching, they are told it is inappropriate.

It’s as if to say, “Sorry, but this church prides itself on excellence.” The whole showbiz attitude comes in and you’re only allowed on stage if you’re dressed correctly. Seriously, if I was ever asked to speak at a church like that, I’d want to do it dressed in rags!

James might be talking more about reserving special seats for ‘people of importance’ but I believe the passage can be applied in this context too. By telling someone that they must change the way they dress just because they are on a stage, we effectively tell them, “As you are, you’re not good enough for this church.” It reinforces the toxic message that God only accepts those who are perfect, and that the church is a place for ‘perfect’ people. I firmly believe that such attitudes run counter to the values of Jesus.

If a young person isn’t good enough to be on show as they are, then such a church is not good enough for that young person.

It’s not about ‘dressing appropriately for the occasion’: sure, in non-Christian environments (or any employment arena), there are social rules for how we dress. But church is about the Kingdom. It’s not about how we look to others, it’s about how we look to God. We don’t want to be white-washed tombs. It’s about our heart.

For some young people, church is a big enough struggle as it is. The people in church, along with various traditions and customs, can be the stumbling block in the faith of teenagers. There’s no need to add to their burdens. After all, we’ll only be left asking ourselves the question, “Why aren’t there many young people in our church?”